Wake Me Up Before You Go Go And Bite Me

My sleep last night was heavily punctuated. The first time I woke up was when I heard a mosquito buzz past my ear. I opened my eyes, targeted the bug, and brought my hand down hard on the pillow under which rested my other hand. I did not succeed in squashing the intruder, but I did succeed in hurting my hand. We couldn't find the mosquito again, so I went back to sleep. The second time I woke up when I experienced the sensation of falling and my legs twitched violently. The third time I woke up when Matt heard the mosquito and leaped up to chase it down. He couldn't find it so he sat there waiting and watching for awhile, and I fell asleep again. I next awoke when he accidentally shined a sizable Maglite directly into my closed eyes (presumably still searching for the bug) which caused significant momentary pain in my eyeballs. A strange way to wake up, rivaled only by the fifth time I woke up which was when the back of both of my hands became spontaneously tremendously itchy. I scratched and clawed at my knuckles in a confused and tortured stupor until after several minutes the telltale white bumps of twin mosquito bites appeared. I couldn't fall back asleep, so I thought I'd try out the hot spoon method of bug bite relief. I had to run the hot water tap for several minutes to get it hot enough, so I used the cooler water to rinse out some yogurt cups and other dishes in the sink first. Wet itchy hands were worse than dry, but eventually I administered the hot spoon to both bites several times before giving up with that and getting out the hydrocortisone cream. I laid back down and the cat sat on my chest, so I distracted myself from my itchiness (which my mind was telling me was all over now) by petting her until I fell asleep again.

All that happened in under hour.

Luckily I got in a few hours of sleep before morning when I awoke all tense from a dream in which I was attempting to get out of being executed for providing the wrong proof of purchase of a digital song by bribing the executioners with a new fireplace. Like you do.