Friday, December 12, 2014

B3-A5-C1-C1-C4, B1-D2-B4-A5-C3-A4!


Dear Chris,

Good morning! At least, it is morning now when I am writing this. Well, morning if you count that as anything between midnight and noon, the technical definition. It is not sunrise or later yet, so in informal speak, it's the middle of the night. We don't really have appropriate words for these non-technical concepts, do we? We'll just call it "asleep time" for now, and highlight the fact that I am clearly in the opposite state.

The other living creatures in my house are resting so peacefully, that I have decided to quit the room they are in and retreat to the kitchen, where at least there is hot chocolate and cookies. I turned on the Christmas tree lights for a pleasant glow, but I confess, they are not yet warming me with the Christmas spirit. I have seen glimpses of this elusive apparition this year, but it has not yet solidified into a welcome companion. Which seems about right. It is only December 12, and the activities that signal the arrival of Christmas time have only just begun. I'm pretty sure getting laid off is not one of the traditional harbingers of the season of Christ's birth, but overcoming another year of earthly toils is, so we will let it fuel that fire and press on.

Speaking of which, I want to write a great many things about this year's toils, waxing profound and throwing about the weight of my newly acquired wisdom. But I'm finding it hard to put in the concentrated effort to extract the wisdom from the experiences into clever sentences poignantly summarizing and cathartically releasing the pent up emotions. Even as I write that, it occurs to me I am most decidedly doing it wrong, and yet not, because I got those 2 sentences out! But more likely than not, my focus should probably not be to jump straight to the pithy analysis stage, but rather to embrace wrestling with the emotions and experiences in all my written pieces for years to come. It would be silly and pointless to expect anything less. I have been given the gift of adversity which I have thus far survived—why try and hustle that aside so I can return to my previous state devoid of inspiration?

One hour, 1 mug of cocoa, and 1 sheet of paper later, I feel pleased with my emotional progress. Had I continued to lay in bed while awake and asleep did battle, I am certain I would have trudged through the coming day with bitterness over lost sleep polluting my mood and demeanor. But maybe I have a tiny bit of hope now that to keep on keeping on is my best chance at finding the peace and rest I seek.

Thanks for keeping vigil with me. It really helps to have someone to talk to.

<3, Rachel

The original ink-on-paper version of this note will be waiting for you on your desk on Monday. Hope you don't mind I shared it with a few friends online in the meantime.