Saturday, February 23, 2013

A Compendium of Creepy Dolls

My iPhone video from the balcony isn't that great for picture, and neither is my silent laughing, but the sound isn't bad, and the cheering and clapping isn't too loud. I filmed this song because I like it when Paul and Storm join Jonathan Coulton for Creepy Doll. I really enjoy the harmonies, tambourine, and egg shakers. Sometimes there is a ukelele, too, which is awesome, but maybe that is only Kristen Shirts on Best. Concert. Ever.?

For a, frankly, much better perspective of this same performance, watch here (contains lots of pre-song banter as well), or here. And for the recorder choir rendition of it played at Open Mic Night, watch here. Apparently I'm not the only Creepy Doll fan out there!

The doll is in my eyes and in my arms and in my head and I am crazy!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Celebrity Appentice

February is already a short month, so since I didn't want to cheat my February Pen of the Month, the Pentel Energel 0.5 needlepoint, of a whole week of use while I was on a cruise, I made sure to pack it, along with a few other trusty pens for good measure.

The highlight of my Energel's cruise was when it got to meet John Hodgman. As I stood behind some friends who were speaking to Jonathan Coulton's lovely wife at a ship bar, a guy walked up to Hodgman, also sitting at the bar, and asked if he would sign something. Hodgman agreed, but the guy asked "Do you have something to sign with?" Hodgman calmly replied, "No." A girl nearby said she thought she did and began rummaging around in her bag. After a minute with no pen produced, I helpfully unclipped my Energel from my lanyard and extended it into the group. Hodgman accepted the proffered pen and showed it to the autograph-seeking gentleman: "Oh, I was thinking like a Sharpie." As Hodgman handed the rejected pen back to me, the girl finally produced a marker and I hear Hodgman ask what the guy would like signed. "I'm a cross dresser," the autograph-seeker explained, "So I was hoping you'd sign my silicone breast insert." Hodgman obliged, and I had to laugh when I considered the extreme unsuitability of the Pentel Energel needlepoint to autograph a silicone breast.

I, myself, didn't seek out any autographs on the cruise, despite being amongst many of my favorite minor celebrities. But if I had, I wonder what lucky pen I would have chosen from my arsenal to place into the hands of Jonathan Coulton or Randall Munroe? Should I have chosen pens on a per-celebrity basis, or picked the best overall signature-signing option? This is exactly the kind of over-thinking that prevents me from even considering asking for an autograph! That, and the weirdness of asking another human being for proof of our meeting.

And this is why it takes me so long to write anything! I didn't mean to go off on a tangent, pondering the purpose of autographs and people's fascination with them. I didn't intend to read Wikipedia for ten minutes and learn about which presidents have used autopens and when. I didn't need to begin cataloging which pen I suspect each celebrity would like best (John Roderick strikes me as an inky pen kind of guy, so I'd probably say a Pilot G2). I just wanted to tell you a little story about John Hodgman and my Energel.

At least I can take comfort in that my over-thinking and slowness prevented me from doing anything like pulling a receipt from the garbage and asking John Hodgman to sign it. Or a fake boob, for that matter.

Monday, February 4, 2013

I feel badly—I feel overmuch!


Several months ago, as I was emotionally ranting about my reluctance to learn biology, my unfortunate listener interrupted me, saying, "You can't feel badly, you feel bad..." In my unstable emotional state, I did not care if he was right, I just wanted to punch him in the neck. For one, I don't like people telling me how to feel. For two, I don't like people correcting my grammar during emotional rants. Fortunately for him, he was across a rather wide table from me and was able to avoid a jab to the jugular. But also, it turned out that he was right, and I forgave him his impertinence in view of his correctness. He won that round because he got me to stop using "I feel badly" incorrectly. Furthermore, he won the next round because he got me to learn some biology. But if I could go back in time, this six-word memoir would be my retort.

Maybe I'll avoid making such faux pas in the future after I read the book Jen got me for my birthday. Thanks, Jen!

And I'd never actually punch you in the neck, Chris, because, like you say, "No matter what happens today, we'll still be friends."