All writings appear in chronological order, with the original punctuation, and mostly completely out of context.
"in case this sounds like a good idea WHICH IT DOES!"
"Your patience is [insert reference to someone really patient]!"
"THANKS FOR YOUR SCIENTIFIC BRAINS ON THIS!"
"Benedict Cumberbatch gets quite fancy with his fight sequences."
"I'll take both of you if I can, but I'd be sad to end up with less than one of you!"
"i don't like being this close to freaking out at any given moment"
"you had a rough night. I'd be a monster to admonish your snacking habits."
"We've covered many of the standards. Slaughtering living on a prayer currently. Already sang don't stop believing."
"that seems like a serious lack of seats per, well, the opposite of capita. maybe it would be helpful to time track the time spent checking to see if a stall was available."
"I almost just wrote "Have a good one" but that is kind of a weird thing to say, really."
"Too bad nobody reads the methods [sad trombone]."
"I seriously don't know why the LOL cat version is not quoted more frequently in church. "Git up, Peter. Can has cheezburger.""
"I don't exactly have lunch plans today. I want to, but I'm still freaking out about work. mostly because I couldn't hear the entire conversation you and becky just had. Did it sound like I'd get a lunch today?"
"I'm sorry I'm being an idiot. I'm just holding myself to a higher standard and failing."
"You smell like puppy!"
|"Also spotted, vegetarian haggis, egg nog flavored beads, and buffalo au jus."|
"My darn study won't delete. It's slowing my roll..."
"holy poopers, what did we buy this month? tires? airplane tickets?"
"my energy, patience, and fortitude tanks are running on fumes, and my apathy meter is very high."
"we went shopping two nights ago and I just bought comfort and convenience food. it has brought me both comfort and convenience."
"Top Secret Communique from IMF:
Good morning, agents. We believe there is a “build” hiding somewhere in the vicinity of wherever it is Run Build data goes to wait after it has finished running. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find this renegade build, start it, report back to me with the validation and analysis reports, and then put the build to bed. Attached is the build checklist which will provide further instructions about a new group-by property to add, as well as an update to the Added Recently text. You may nominate any two team members to assist with this mission. For reasons, I will assume you have selected Dane H. and Bryan J. As always, should you or any member of your IM Force be caught or confused, the SciCon team will discreetly assist and then disavow all knowledge of your actions. This message will hopefully not self-destruct in five seconds. Good Luck!"
[A writing exercise at a writing conference. Fictional.] "Jessica wanted to tell him about Marcus and the other boys and how they'd said those things to her during lunch. She wanted her father to be someone she could talk to about stuff like that--a loving, protective father who would stand up for her and get those boys in trouble. But he was so self-absorbed. And they say teenagers are self-absorbed!"
"I can't be the kind of person who always carries around a book, because I don't like to read in public. I would rather read in quiet places and be uninterrupted."
"my writing has lacked something the last few days. I've been trying to post a blog post and the words are just no good. the concept is fine, but it's all cliched and crap. that is happening in im, too, sorry."
"I won't quit, but I'm going to feel sorry for myself and pout/cry about it for a minute. bc I'm a girl so I can cry at work and people will just think "oh, she's just a girl so she can be all weak and crap at work.""
"I don' tthink crying is lame. I think feel overwhelmed is lame. I'm okay with the crying."
"Dear Sweet Jesus (and kinda Ross), I commit this Nephromine build into your hands. If it is your will, I pray that it will run successfully. Please bless the hard work that went into preparing all the datasets and the Build checklist, including the part about the new group by property for Hypertension Status. It is through your mercy and grace alone that I can ever hope to get through the potential validation errors, should they arise, so I'm going to keep the line open just in case. Until then, I remain your humble servant, Rachel"
"It's always depressing to find you have indeed dropped a ball after ardently denying there was a ball on the floor at all."
"and I want to be proud of myself for not completely freaking out, instead of being down on myself for feeling like I wanted to freak out."
"Becky better be right or there's about to be mutiny on this ship."
"I have no idea how to feel right now. I'm spent emotionally. I don't know what to do. I am crying a lot, but I don't want anyone to comfort me. I just want it to be a different time/place/day and go on in a completely different way than it is currently going on."
"I just really feel so completely terrible. Some problems definitely can be helped with jest. Do not give up on it. And don't give up on me. I'll get better."
"I can't even [finish this sentence apparently, because I started drafting this yesterday!]."
"yay, I'm glad yuri's not a druggie! it can get expensive, you know. all the drugs and the rehabs and the whatnot."
"I has a hungry."
"The latter is likely as I am a repeat perpetrator of this offense, making date genes prime candidates for pre-build validations."
"5 superfluous imperative statements: 1. Have fun! 2. Be safe and well! 3. Take care of each other! 4. Remember to eat meals! 5. Come back!"
"I can drop all the balls spectacularly in an epic freak out, or I can try and carefully place a few balls down and focus on a few I'm still trying to juggle. I'd prefer the latter, obviously."
"I'm not going to re-read it, in an uncharacteristic move to not make it any longer."