"I want to pump you up!"

You remember my friend Yuri, right? The one who did my dishes? Apparently she was just buttering me up so she could torture me later and I'd still think she was sweet!

She talked Matt and I and our friend Jen into buying Groupons for classes at her gym. I should have known the torture that would befall us after her fiancé Nick has been all "wall sits" this and "I almost puked" that for the last several months. But I thought I might as well take advantage of the deal since I really have been meaning to exercise for like the last 11 months.

On Monday, Matt and I went to the gym after dinner to check out the place and figure out how to use our Groupon. Yuri was there doing some cardio, so she took us on a tour. Turns out she's already famous there and introduced us to several staff members as we walked around. Everyone was very friendly, though, so that was encouraging.

We decided to come back the next day for a Body Pump class, the description for which reads:

"Body Pump is one of the world's fastest ways to get in shape as it challenges all of your muscle groups while you squat, press, lift, and curl. The cutting edge Body Pump choreography and chart-topping music is refreshed every three months, so with your choice of weight and highly-trained instructors you can get the group effect and the results you've been looking for!"

Admittedly, I didn't really know what this meant, but it sounded like there would be music, maybe some cardio, and a variety of weight training, and that all sounded okay considering all of me is not-so-strong at the moment, so might as well spread the attention. I think part of my problem with the description, though, is that I was parsing it incorrectly and misinterpreting the words "choreography" and "chart-topping". Another part of it is that I don't know what "the group effect" is. But the biggest confusion was that I read it as "your choice of weight and your choice of highly-trained instructors..." That sounded weird, that you'd get to pick your instructor, but the gym *is* called One on One, so maybe that's their gig? Alas, no. And turns out "choreography" just means different lifts in combination--no actual "moves" or cardio--and "chart-topping" means generic pop I've actually never heard of, though that might not be saying much given my musical preferences.

The facility is in a repurposed office building, from what I can tell. It is a very unconventional but fun and quirky layout, and the accent colors are a delightful early 90s teal and plum (a stark and fitting contrast to Vie's modern oranges and lime greens with double the price tag). The thing about the repurposedness, though, is that directly inside the front doors is a flight of stairs up that takes you to the check-in desk, and from there the locker rooms are just around the glass-walled classroom and down a flight of steps into the basement. Which means at the end of a workout, you are immediately faced with a tall flight of stairs down no matter which way you need to go.

After our Body Pump class full of squats and deadlifts and heck-lets-do-some-more-squats-for-fun, Matt and I exited the classroom and excitedly talked over our triumphs and failures while we put on our coats in front of the desk. Then we turned towards the exit and immediately stopped dead in our tracks. Stairs. Lots of them. No other way out but down, and no other legs than the jello ones attached to our torsos. Instinctively, we each veered towards a handrail, me to the left and Matt to the right. Matt decided to take the "slow and not-so-steady" approach, while I took the "just let gravity take you and try to keep your feet under you" approach. We both almost bit it, but it was funny and such a relief to get to the bottom without seriously embarrassing ourselves!

For kicks, and because there didn't end up being any cardio, or even any sweat really (thanks to the enormous fan above me) in Body Pump, I decided to go with Jen to a Zumba class today. I've never done Zumba, and I can't say as though dance is a forte of mine. I'm a marching band girl. I can keep tempo with my feet, give you a 90 or 60 degree angle with my leg, and probably even still keep pretty close to an "8 to 5" step, but ask me to move my arms simultaneously and you've got yourself a deal breaker. Regardless, I gave it a try. It was fun, even though I can't really shimmy any part of me to save my life (I prayed desperately that my friends wouldn't peek in the glass-walled room and see me awkwardly trying to zumba on their way into their class). Best of all, though, it was only 30 minutes, and there were only a few squats. I might even consider doing it again!

Not sure what class I'll try next, but there are a few more I want to check out, including Kettle Bell and Yoga. But probably not anymore this week--I can hardly walk, sit down, or stand up as it is! My thighs and gluts are so sore. Matt had to carry something to the basement and I stayed in the kitchen cheering him on every step of the way as he grimaced his way down one step at a time. So glad we live in a ranch house right about now.