Fairy Party

You can always tell when the fairies have their raucous autumn party because the morning ground is littered with dainty yellow ginkgo fans that cooled and fluttered at the nighttime rave.

Gourdo

Still feeling penance over the Great Gourd Fiasco of 2012, I carved baby pumpkins again this year, specifically putting one aside for my long-suffering friend. I even put his name on it so it would be clear I was giving it to him:

pimpin'

I made one for Matt to take to work, too, and he said he would laugh every time he saw him with his little bow tie:

hee!

These two will sit on my desk, grinning their stupid grins at me, until their teeth rot out of their heads:

heh heh

hiiiiiiiiiii!

While I Was Healing

Abdominal surgery: it's not something I recommend for everyone, but if modern medical science has a solution for what ails you and it involves cutting open your belly and poking around in your insides, it might be worth it. Even so, while I was out healing, I couldn't wait to get back to to the following:

• Wearing outfits that don't include sweat pants
• Taking care of myself
• Taking care of other people
• Going out to eat
• A hearty belly laugh
• A messy cry
• Some semblance of routine
• Coffee walks
• Being active and running
• Getting stuff done
• Seeing people I know on a daily basis
• Lifting things that need moving
• Leaving the house to go shopping or whatever
• Feeling energetic
• Careless hugging

I can't complain a bit about the care I received when I couldn't very well care for myself. My mother scrubbed my tile bathroom! My friends visited me and brought me food! People sent me cards and flowers and treats and activity books! My husband worked from home a lot so he could make sure I wasn't going crazy with antsiness and loneliness! I felt loved.

While I was out, I felt like I had this gift of time to do whatever low-key activities I wanted. I thought I was made for such things as sitting in one place all day reading and writing! But even sitting around and healing takes a lot of energy. And while I probably fared better than many, 4 weeks is an awfully long time to sit without the ability do the things on the list above to break up the long stretches of time spent in stillness and solitude.  Even so, I found a few things to do, including:

• Watched a mini-series called The Paradise
• Read The Ladies Paradise, by Émile Zola (because I wanted to see if it read better than the mini-series. It did, though it was very long and contained a lot of descriptions of store displays in the haberdashery department, etc.)
• Watched documentaries on topics such as:
• Lego
• Henry VIII's palace
• how cars are made (though I forget which ones)
• Selfridges
• back-up vocalists
• Watched a strange mini-series called A Young Doctor's Notebook that I'm not sure I'd recommend, though it did have John Hamm in it.
• Watched several comedy specials:
• Jim Gaffigan's Mr. Universe
• John Mulaney's New In Town
• Comedy Roundtable with Ben Stiller, Mike Myers, Seth Meyers, and Michael Ian Black
• Watched movies:
• Lego Movie
• Amazing Spiderman II
• The Other Woman
• Remembrance
• How to Marry a Millionaire
• Under the Tuscan Sun
• Moneyball
• Miss Pettigrew Lives For a Day
• Stuck in Love
• Silver Linings Playbook
• Tiger Eyes 
• Girl Most Likely
• Started reading several books I fully intend to finish someday:
• Remembrance of Things Past: Swann's Way
• A Tale of Two Cities
• Gone Girl
• Finished reading several books I started once:
• On Writing Well
• The Death of Ivan Ilych and Other Stories
• Continued reading several books I am in the middle of:
• The Elusive Pimpernel
• Walden
• Worked on making my Halloween costume, which will be a peacock in flight!

Collection of Beloved People

Left Brain: Heart, I noticed you've added someone to our collection of beloved people. Might I remind you that you are already in love with about a million people already? And that you don't seem to fall out of love with anyone? How is that even possible?

Right Brain: Let's go as a peacock for Halloween!

LB: Plus, Heart, you've already got a person like that, are you sure you need another?

Heart: This one is unique. They are all so special.

LB: Well, if we are going to love them all, we're going to have to remember to remember them all. Can we at least make a list?

RB: No wait, not just a peacock, but a peacock in flight!

LB: If I at least keep track of who hurt you, you can make safer choices in future. But you should probably just pay more attention to the people you already love a lot, like your husband.

RB: I should start thinking about what presents to get people for Christmas. And pen club! I want to restart The Pen of the Month Club!

LB: Do these people even know you cherish them? I really don't think some of them deserve your time.

RB: I want to put together an eggplant and blush outfit. I really like that color combination. I should look for purple shoes!

Heart: <3 <3 <3 COLORS!!! <3 <3 <3

LB: Seriously, I am so stressed out. You're out of control, Heart! How did you even expand enough to let another one in? It seems mathematically impossible that you could love anyone else without loving someone less.

RB: I bet there's, like, some kind of concept, like where the more you love, the more love multiplies. Like, 1+1=3!

LB: Right Brain, you have no idea what you're talking about. You are totally making things up.

RB: Research it!

LB: I hate researching. It's so boring. Let's just catalog the facts we already know.

Heart: I love all my beloved people. I want to squeeze them all and tell them I love them. I want to fill them up with love so they feel warm inside even when I'm not there. I want them to feel known, cared about, and hoped for.

LB: What if they don't want you to squeeze them?

Heart: I will grow little hands and reach out to hold their heart's hands.

LB: That's weird. And gross.

RB: That's such a cute idea! Maybe I can write something about it!

LB: Finish the peacock costume first!

RB: I've got an idea for a blog post! What if we type up this conversation??

Heart: To tell them all we love them!

LB: This is impossible. [initiates SLEEP sequence]